We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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