I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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