he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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