In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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