): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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