We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
