Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
