I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
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I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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