Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
