that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
