they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How external is "for external use only"?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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