people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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