this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
