i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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