i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
