Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
