she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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