So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
