.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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