one two three fourrrrnication!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
