Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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