so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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