It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
