What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Farmville is her only friend.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
