One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
