guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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