You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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