thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
two words: eviction party
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
