Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
