So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
