i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
