i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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