she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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