i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
