im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize