Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
