i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
