Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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