no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
