My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
