the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
