well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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