Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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