Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
