We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
thus making me awesome and them whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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