Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
