My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize