I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
