As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
