I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
