I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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