You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
