come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
