Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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