so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
