brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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