Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What drink are we having for lunch?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
