Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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